- especially when it's with something or someone that has meant a lot to you that you've held on to for so long. 

Letting go is scary. 

- what would you do without them? When once upon a time, they became your direction, your life, your world. 

But Letting go can also be one of the best decisions you can ever make. (*in the right circumstances) 

- When you let go of things that aren't supposed to be yours anymore, it makes way for better things to come into your life. Things that you'd never expect to come your way; 

The word Superhero alone makes the boys extremely excited to see it. 

I have put soo much time on work for the past year. I have worked a full time job and did shoots or covered events on the weekend. Some weekdays, I would go to work from 6-2 and still work on photos for the rest of the afternoon, all while trying to juggle in laundry, groceries, playing referee between the two boys, packing lunches and making sure the kids are ready to go the next day. Then I had the opportunity to earn a bit more when I switched over jobs the summer, I had a blast and I learned so much from the experience but it required us to be away for some days in a week and back on some weekends, all while dealing with events to cover on weekends and it got me to a point where I was no longer there for my kids. I struggled.

The good thing about all this is that, there was a plan. I had a choice of sacrificing a bit of time to hustle it up, give up a bit of comfort to save money, to get me closer to the goal of being able to be there as a present parent for my kids - physically, financially, emotionally. That, or to keep working a steady job, getting part time gigs to cover up extra expenses and be left with not enough time and energy to spend on taking care of the boys. 

I'm happy to say that through all the sweat and tears, we have made it. Or at least, we are closer to where we want to be. 

We have lived off the basics & stayed on budget for other expenses which allowed us to save enough to get us through another few months. I am happy to say that our bills and rent have been paid off for the rest of the year and this has allowed me to let go of a full time job and instead stay at home & work at home to be there more for the bois. 

There has not been a time this week that I would be close to the door and Jaeden would ask me if I had to go to work, it gives me the biggest pleasure to say that "Mommy doesn't work anymore" (of course, that's not true, I just don't have to be away when he's home.), the biggest smile I get with a big "YAY!" is simply priceless. 

Hard work does pay off & this is my biggest prize. 

There's still a lot of work, we're not there yet, but it feels good to know we're a step closer =)

If you're out there hustlin' for your family or your dreams, Keep hustlin'. Go for it 10 times harder. Focus on your goal. It's not gonna be easy but I can tell you this, IT WILL PAY OFF!

 & when it does, it's gonna Feel Damn Good! 

#Letsdothis, I'm cheerin' on you! 

GhettoMomma

Sometimes, I wonder why we teach them to. 

It brings me back to times when my now 10 year old would come home and cry and be so angry with other kids. I would ask him what he'd like to do. He would respond saying that he would like to punch the kids in the face. He would tell me how angry he is. 

I would stay with him and let him cry, let him scream his anger out, and he would. You could feel his pain and his anger with his screams, and I would be so angry at these kids that I would like to go out there myself and punch their faces. 

But that's not what we do. That's not what we were taught as kids. & That's not what we're gonna teach our kids. 

Yesterday, I was in the same situation as my 10 year old was. I was so angry. I wanted to hurt people for taking out hurtful words towards my child. 

I screamed and cried like a 10 year old. & then I am reminded of the things that I tell my children.

Being angry won't change the situation. Being angry won't make you a better person. You are better than that. 

& Let go. 

I blame my parents for being the nicest people in the planet. For raising me in this way. 

For teaching me to filter my words and actions. If it won't benefit or build up, they are not worth your energy and time. 

I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing. But I believe in the good and I believe that people do not mean or intend to hurt other people. 

& if this is what I would like to teach my children, this is how I'm ought to live by. 

Struggling with a heavy heart, I'll leave you with this. 

“It's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.” -L.R. Knost

xoxo, 

GhettoMomma

& then, you get to the counter and feel sooo much guilt that you just let it all go, and leave. 

That. That was me for the last 10 months. The first few months were the toughest.. and then you just kinda get sick of it, skip the mall altogether and you just kinda forget. 

Yes. You forget. 

10 months later, I finally had enough saved to actually go Shopping - Guilt Free and I'm gonna tell you this, it feels Damn Good. 

Let's do this! 

-GhettoMomma 

The invite said Pizza! of course we had to be there :) 

We also had to bring a family photo for a frame making activity that will be kept in their classroom. 

For the longest time, it was my biggest struggle. I always thought that the decision to let go of our marriage was very selfish. That it would mean that I am depriving the boys of growing up in a complete family. 

So as much as possible, in any family event, we would make it so that the both of us (parents) can be there for the boys. 

I think we're still trying to figure it out. But this works, for now. 

All I know is that we share the same stand on this, whatever makes the boys happy, we're happy :) 

I have never felt so looked down upon in my life. But I don't blame him, It wasn't my brightest shining moment. 

A little pissed at this man, I walked straight to the counter and swiped my credit card.

He had a point. I didn't have money. I was spending somebody else's money. 

The plastic bag. 

It is my biggest reminder to never go back to that time in my life where I am carelessly spending away money - what I've earned and what's not really mine - 

for pleasures that I don't really need and won't really last. 

Life is really that simple. A vacation, shopping spree and that kickass looking car all look pretty tempting. But it's not something I can afford right now. These things can wait. 

For now, I'll stick with my plastic bag. 

Let's do this, 

GhettoMomma